Hello Lily! My name is Mia from Yaldhurst Model School. Outstantding work! I really liked the way you added in lot's of details about your happy place. I also liked the way you finished off your paragragh.
I think that my happy place would be in my head too. Sometimes I drift off into space during class and I don't even know it! What is your favorite thing to think about in your head? I liked to think about the future.
To improve, make sure to add a space between your capital letter and full stop, that way we can read it easier.
Hello Lily! My name is Mia from Yaldhurst Model School. Outstantding work! I really liked the way you added in lot's of details about your happy place. I also liked the way you finished off your paragragh.
ReplyDeleteI think that my happy place would be in my head too. Sometimes I drift off into space during class and I don't even know it! What is your favorite thing to think about in your head? I liked to think about the future.
To improve, make sure to add a space between your capital letter and full stop, that way we can read it easier.
Awesome work!
Mia
Kia Ora I'm Jorja from Yaldhurst Model School.
ReplyDeleteI liked the way you have added your writing into a google drawing.
Did you think about telling us more about your piece of writing.
Next time, you could telling us more about your piece of writing.
Kind Regards Jorja.